


Totally Official Doctors

by iexpectedsportaflop (MyChocolateAddiction)



Series: Lazy Town [8]
Category: LazyTown
Genre: Doctors, Gen, Implied/Referenced Depression, Play-Pretend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 19:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11296836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyChocolateAddiction/pseuds/iexpectedsportaflop
Summary: The kids are playing doctors, but after a few -ahem- discussions, they find themselves with no-one to look after!





	Totally Official Doctors

**Author's Note:**

> wow am i bad at summaries
> 
> Enjoy! ^u^

"Stephanie and Stingy! My calculations conclude that you are... not sick anymore!" Pixel exclaimed, gesturing wildly, a close match to his excited tone.

"Great!" Stephanie giggled, "Although we kind of already knew that. Who's next?"

"Oh, I'll be next!" Trixie shouted, springing forward, "I scraped my knee at lunch break today! How about a band-aid?"

" _Excuse_ me!" Stingy interrupted, and narrowed his eyes. "I'll have you know, this appointment is _mine_!"

"But Stingy!" Stephanie began, tilting her head to the side and letting a mildly disappointed expression wash seamlessly over her features. "You just had an appointment! You need to give someone else a turn!"

"But that appointment was shared with you! I want my own, and it's this one!" he complained with a sigh.

"Yes, but you have to wait your _turn_!" she lectured.

"Now _is_ my turn!"

"C'mon, Stingy! Give us a go!" Trixie laughed, and tossed her head.

"Yeah, Stingy," Pixel added calmly, twisting his laptop around so his friends could see the display on the screen, "you've just had your appointment. If you want another one, my computer says it's good etiquette to wait!"

Stingy glared. "I don't think you quite understand. This appointment is _mine_. Mine, mine, mine, _mine_!"

Stephanie exchanged quick 'what are we going to do?' look with Pixel, but Trixie stepped up. "Shut up, Stingy!" she said.

"Trixie!" Stephanie gasped, but she ignored her.

"You're ruining our game, okay? If you're not going to play, _properly_ , you shouldn't- you shouldn't even be our friend!" Trixie was angry, angrier than she probably should be at something as trivial as just a little game of doctor, she tapped her foot as if impatient and glowered dangerously at Stingy.

"Trixie, Trixie, that's not nice!" Stephanie exclaimed, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Stop, please. We don't want anyone getting cross, yeah?"

"But he's going to ruin our game!" Trixie yelled.

"Fine. Have it your way. You can have your stupid appointment." Stingy sulked, hand on hip. "My appointment."

"Stingy, it's just a game, don't worry about it!" Pixel reassured him, but Stingy didn't reply, instead haughtily stomping away to sit on a bench.

"We don't need him!" Trixie grinned, lifting her chin. "C'mon, let's play!"

"I don't know, Trixie..." Stephanie said, a knowing her small frown had at least a chance of changing her friend's mind, "I do think you could have handled that a bit better..."

"Yeah, well, I didn't!" Trixie continued, "So c'mon! Let's keep on playing! Please?"

"Fine..." Stephanie conceded, shooting an apologetic glance to Stingy across the way.

"Okay, sit down, and we'll have a look." Pixel told Trixie.

She nodded. "Yup!" and sat down in the designated chair, resting her injured leg on a little stool, and rolling up the leg of her trousers above the knee. "See, look! I scraped it at lunch! But I didn't ask for a band-aid or ice or anything, cause I'm tough!" Trixie boasted, "You guys can still give me one, for the game, that won't make me any less tough."

"Right." Pixel said. "Doctor Meanswell, please pass me the band-aid box!" he instructed.

"Yes!" Stephanie exclaimed, handing the small box of cheap patterned band-aids over to Pixel.

"Thank you." Pixel opened the box. "Which one would you like then?"

"Ooh, let's see!" Trixie laughed, reaching her hand out to tip the box so that she could clearly see the contents. "Hm. Pink, orange, pink, blue, blue, yellow... Aha! Here's a red one!" she exclaimed. It was a bright red, peppered all over with small white skull-and-crossbones.

"Good choice!" Stephanie congratulated.

Trixie handed it back to Pixel. "I'll have this one, thanks!" she told him.

"I'll check my computer to see which angle would be most beneficial for healing without restricting too much knee movement." Pixel responded, and took it from her, swivelling around to face his laptop, sat on a little table.

"You don't need your computer for _everything_ , Pixel!" Trixie laughed, "Hey- gimme that-" she snatched the band-aid off him, "You just put in across like that!" she instructed, running a finger across her scraped knee.

"Uh, yeah," Pixel muttered. "Okay, my computer says you should put it across like this!" He stepped away from the laptop to show a video of someone putting on a band-aid the exact way Trixie had.

"Didn't you even _hear_ me?" she complained, "That's exactly what I said!"

"Yeah, I heard, I just didn't really listen... I was busy on the computer!" Pixel defended.

"You always are, Pixel!" Stephanie giggled.

"We going to put this band-aid on or not?" asked Trixie.

"Oh, yeah, just hand it over." Stephanie instructed, and Trixie did so. "Just across like that?"

"Yeah." Trixie replied.

"Alright!" giggled Stephanie, and she removed the protective plastic from the sticky side of the band-aid and put it on Trixie's grazed knee. "All done!"

"Thanks! Who else should we check then?" Trixie asked, rolling her trouser leg back down, and springing up.

"I'm going to see if Stingy's done sulking, and if he is, let's let him have his go. I don't want anyone to get angry, even if it is a little unfair." Stephanie said.

"A _little_?" objected Trixie, but let her pass.

" _What_?" Stingy sniffled as Stephanie approached him.

"Hey, Stingy," Stephanie began gently, sitting down next to him on the bench. He inched away slightly. "Trixie's done with her doctor appointment now, do you want to have yours?"

"Y-yes..." Stingy replied, wiping his face.

"And I'm sorry for what she said, okay? Trixie can be mean sometimes, but it's just her, yeah? It's what she knows. She doesn't mean any harm." Stephanie told him.

"Yeah... I know. I got a little bit overwhelmed, that's all. You know I don't like giving people things." Stingy responded.

"It wasn't exactly yours to give..." Stephanie said, "But come on! Forget about it! It's time for your appointment!"

"Yes, yes. I can't be late." Stingy said, "Make way, make way! I'm going to be doctored now!" he announced.

Trixie glowered at him, but said nothing. Pixel opened up his computer's search engine, and sat Stingy down. "What seems to be the problem, Stingy?" he asked.

"I- oh, I don't care! Just give me _my_ appointment!" Stingy exclaimed.

"You have to choose something!" Stephanie told Stingy, "Otherwise we're going to have to give your slot to someone else!"

"That won't do at all!" Stingy gasped. "Hm. Okay then, I have broken my arm. And my leg. Give me _all_ the bandages." he continued, adding, "They _are_ mine after all."

"Wow, that's a lot!" Stephanie played along. "Pixel, look up what we should do!"

"Will do!" Pixel said, turning back to his screen and searching the database. "Okay! Where's your arm broken, then?"

"Everywhere. Give me _all_ the bandages!" Stingy ordered.

"Stingy! That's not realistic, just pick one place!" Stephanie laughed.

"Fine." Stingy conceded. "Here!" He pointed to a spot near halfway down his arm.

"Okay then, you're going to need a cast and a sling for your arm." Pixel said.

"We don't have casts in our play set, though," Stephanie reminded him.

"Well, we'll use bandages and pretend! Stingy's not _actually_ broken his arm or anything." Pixel suggested.

"Good idea," congratulated Stephanie, and she reached over to pick up a roll of bandage from the set. "Here's one." she said, and passed it to Pixel.

"Right, Stingy, hold your arm completely still and I'll use my AutoDoctor 6000 to wrap it up." Pixel said.

Stephanie turned to Trixie. "You haven't said anything in a while, what's up? You still mad at Stingy?" she asked.

"Like hell I am!" Trixie replied.

"I- ugh, Trixie you _know_ it's not a big deal!" Stephanie said.

"He does this all the time, though! He says all our stuff's his, and gets all... freak out-y when we even look at his! It's freakin' stupid!" Trixie complained.

"I know, I know," Stephanie reassured, "but you have to admit you overreacted. You get really angry at the smallest things, which is fine, I know you can't help it, but you have to be careful! You don't want to end up hurting someone's feelings!"

"Sure, fine. I overreacted. But he did worse!" Trixie said.

"I can hear you, you know! It's my arm and leg and- and _everything_ else, that are broken, not my _ears_!" Stingy told them.

Trixie stuck her tongue out at him. "Yeah, well! I don't care!"

"How about you both apologise?" suggested Stephanie.

"One minute!" Pixel interjected, "Your bandage is all done, but I need you to turn this way and put on the sling!" He did so, and Pixel's machine did it's work, putting an off-white sling around Stingy's bandaged arm. "Good job! What else did you say you'd broken?" Pixel asked.

"My leg. In every place." Stingy replied.

" _Every_ place?" Pixel questioned. "I mean, it's more realistic than breaking your arm in every place, but still, we need some bandages left over for everyone else!"

"But they're mine!" Stingy complained.

"Okaay..." Pixel laughed, "Hey, Trixie, you brought your old crutches, right? Could you pass them for Stingy?" he asked.

"If he says sorry! For being annoying and spoiling the game!" Trixie responded.

"That's really mean, he didn't spoil the game! It's all fine!" Stephanie said, and turned to Stingy. "But yeah, maybe you should apologise, Stingy. And so should Trixie!"

"Fine, fine. If it gets me _my_ crutches. Trixie. I am very very very _soorry_ , for _giving you_ my appointment." Stingy 'apologised', voice dripping with sarcasm.

"That's not what you're supposed to be apologising for, you know..." Stephanie told him.

"Well, that's the only apology Trixie's getting!" Stingy replied. "Now, _give me the crutches_!"

Trixie scowled, but Stephanie reached over to pick the left crutch up and pass it to him. "There you go!" and turned to Trixie, "Now who's the one spoiling the game?"

" _You_ are, now!" retorted Trixie.

"Trixie! I'm just trying not to take sides, okay?" Stephanie said.

"Trying not to take sides? _Trying not to take sides_?" exclaimed Trixie. "If you're _trying_ , you're definitely failing. Some best friend you are!"

"It's just a game, you know," Stephanie muttered sadly, "I'm only trying to help..." She picked up the other crutch and handed it to Stingy and Pixel.

"Um, thanks, Stephanie!" Pixel said. "Hey, you alright?"

"I just- y-yeah, I'm fine, fine." Stephanie reassured him, blinking back tears. She hated arguments more than anything else in the world.

"You don't look fine." Stingy told her. He was always the type to get straight to the point. "Look, you're crying! Ugh, I'll even apologise to Trixie if it makes you stop." he conceded.

"You would?" she sniffled.

"Yeah, don't cry, Pinkie!" Trixie consoled as best she could. "Join the 'overreacted at a stupid game' club!"

"Mhm." Stephanie smiled slightly, "Sorry, I just- I hate arguments, and I felt like I was making it worse, yeah?" she explained.

"Well. Trixie, I am sorry that I overreacted when you took my appointment. Is that good enough for you, Stephanie?" asked Stingy.

"Uh, yeah," she giggled, wiping her face.

"And Stingy, I'm also sorry I got mad at you for you trying to take my appointment, I know it's not really something you have a lot of control over." Trixie apologised. "Can we get back to the game now? And forget about all this?"

"Yeah!" the other three smiled.

"Right then! We need to bandage Stingy's leg! How about Trixie gets it?" suggested Pixel.

"Yup!" Trixie grinned, and picked up a roll from the play first-aid kit. "Can I put it in the machine?"

"Okay, I'll just put it on the 'leg' setting..." Pixel answered distractedly, "Sure! Just slot it right in there!"

Trixie followed his instructions, fairly messily but it did the job. "That alright?" she asked.

Pixel checked out her shoddily stuffed-in work. "Should be alright." he replied.

"What'cha mean 'should be'? I'm a pro!" Trixie exclaimed.

Pixel just laughed, and both Stingy and Stephanie found themselves joining in for a moment. Trixie looked pseudo-appalled.

" _Rude_!" she cried. "You gonna even turn the machine on, or what?"

"Almost forgot!" Pixel said, and instructed, "Stingy, just rest your leg on there and it'll bandage it right up." Stingy nodded and did so, then Pixel pressed the button and the machine began to do its work.

"That was quick!" Stephanie commented as the machine tied and cut the ends of the bandage just below Stingy's knee.

"Yeah, it's a really neat gadget! My mom helped me with it!" Pixel replied.

"Your parents are back?" Trixie asked.

"Just my mom, dad's still in France I think. She'll be here for about two weeks, then I'm not sure. Their plans are always kind of uncertain up 'til the last minute." Pixel said.

"Steph, you haven't met Pixel's parents, have you?" Trixie turned to Stephanie.

"Oh, uh, no I haven't." she answered.

"They're awesome! Can we go back to yours, Pixel, when we're done playing? I wanna see your mom!" Trixie laughed.

"I think she's working right now." Pixel let her know, "Maybe you guys could come back for dinner?"

"That'd be cool!" Stephanie replied.

"So cool!" Trixie added.

"Well, who're we going to doctor next, then?" Stingy asked.

"Uhh, I guess me or Pixel?" Stephanie answered.

"If it's alright I think I'll pass, I need to be operating the computer and the AutoDoctor 6000 myself, and that'd be no fun for you guys!" Pixel said.

"That's fair," Stephanie agreed, "and I don't know what I'd need to be looked after for, we just checked that my headache-y cold thing was gone a while ago, can't think of anything else."

"Hm." Trixie pondered. "How about we stop playing doctors, and go prank someone with Stingy! See if we can convince your uncle he's actually broken his arm and leg and stuff!" she suggested.

"I wouldn't want him to worry," Stephanie replied.

"You're no fun, you know that, right?" Trixie teased, "Well, let me know when you come up with anything better!"

"I will!" Stephanie piped determinedly. "You guys too!"

They thought for a while, and concluded that no, they couldn't come up with of anything better.

Trixie stuck her tongue out. "Ha, ha! Let's go prank the Mayor!" she said.

The others nodded begrudgingly, and began on the short walk to the town hall, where they knew Milford would be working, Stingy having to actually use the crutches slightly as the bandage up his leg made it difficult to move his knee.

"Hey, look!" Stephanie exclaimed, and stopped walking, "There's Robbie over there! Maybe we could see if he wants to join in, and then we'd have something else to do!"

"Wow," Trixie laughed, "you really don't want to prank your uncle, do you?"

"No, because he'll take it seriously and freak out! We might even get into trouble!" Stephanie explained.

"What's a little trouble when you get to play a prank?" Trixie said.

Stephanie ignored her, and ran off toward Robbie.

"So if we're not going to prank the Mayor, I could have just stayed sat down there?" Stingy asked, "It's hard to walk with this bandage on, you know, and if this hardship was unnecessary you'll-"

"Stingy, you've only walked ten steps or so!" Pixel laughed. He turned around, and pressed a small button on his headset. "Thirteen average child's paces precisely."

"Stop showing off!" Trixie teased, "Your tech may be cool, but I'm way cooler! I can do a kickflip!"

"So can I, if my computer helps me!" Pixel retorted, "Any skateboard trick in the book, I just plug the numbers in and bingo!"

"That doesn't count!" Trixie said. "You didn't learn it!"

"Okay guys, I caught Robbie!" Stephanie giggled, dragging him by his arm up to her friends.

"You're a little menace, you know that, kid?" Robbie told her. "Can't a man leave the house for two minutes without you brats getting in my way?"

"Nope!" Stephanie responded, lifting her arm to vaguely point at the area they had left all their 'equipment'. "Come sit down in the doctors chair over there. No choice in the matter, you're going to play with us."

"Ugh." was all Robbie answered with. "You know your loud friend, and the yellow kid don't like me, and computer boy probably doesn't either, can't you just leave me alone?"

"I know you do know their names, stop being so antagonistic!" Stephanie said.

"It's what I do, kid. Of course I'm antagonistic, it's- my whole thing." Robbie cast his eyes toward his shoes, looking a little sad.

"Are you okay? You don't have to play, if you don't want to, I guess..."

"I-uh, no, I'm fine," Robbie said, looking back up, "whatever, I'll play for a minute or two I guess,"

"Yay!" Stephanie chirped. "Okay, so yeah, just sit in the chair, and say what's wrong!"

"What if I don't want to?" Robbie asked. "Did Sportacus tell you to do this? I'm not just going to tell you brats all the, uh, crap going through my head right now just for a game."

"No, no, we just want to play!" Stephanie assured him.

"I don't believe you."

"It's true, though!" Stingy attested.

"Or you."

"Well even if you don't believe us for some reason, you can still play, right? Just for a bit?" Stephanie said.

"Whatever," Robbie replied, "it doesn't really seem like I have much of a choice,"

"Well, you don't _have_ to! But we'd _like_ you to!" Stephanie coerced.

"Same difference." Robbie said. "The guilt-trip isn't worth it."

"Yay!" she cheered, turning back to her friends, "He's going to play!"

"Just for a minute!" Robbie corrected hastily.

"Well, I don't even need to run an examination to diagnose him with, uh, _mean_ disease! I'll prescribe, hm... going away!" Trixie complained.

"I think I may be contagious, then." Robbie said.

It took Trixie a moment to understand, but when she did she turned back to Stephanie with a sigh, and asked, "How _do_ you stand this guy?"

"Well," Stephanie defended, "maybe if you were nicer to him he'd be nicer to you!"

"Well, what if I don't want him to be?"

"Trixie," Pixel said calmly, "can't we just do what Stephanie says? Robbie won't be here long."

"I'm giving you brats five- no, four minutes," Robbie told them, "then I'm leaving to get my coffee,"

"See?" Pixel said to Trixie, "Only four minutes."

"If you _saay_ so," Trixie conceded, "but you can't to make me be nice to him!"

"Please no-one feel you have to be," Robbie said.

"Shouldn't we be, you know, _getting on with it_ , or something?" asked Stingy, who'd been uncharacteristically quiet for a while.

"Good idea, okay then, just sit down and say what's wrong!" Pixel exclaimed.

"I don't think I could list all that in four minutes." Robbie told him, cautiously sitting down.

"Well, just choose a couple things then?" Pixel suggested.

"Where do I begin?" Robbie sighed. "Actually, I don't even know what'd be kid-friendly, hm." he pondered.

"It's okay, Ziggy is at soccer club," Stephanie interjected.

"You're all still kids, though, just because Zig- Zippy's the youngest doesn't mean you're all suddenly adults." Robbie replied, leaning back in the chair a little, although still fairly hunched over.

"Are you playing, or not?" Trixie mocked.

"Well, let's see just what that computer can do, then. Can't fall asleep, and if I do I'm usually back awake within the hour, cry pretty much non-stop somedays, for no reason, aand- hm, let me think." Robbie paused for a moment, "Ah, I can't talk to people without getting- uh, nervous I guess would be the best way I could put it that you brats would understand, and-"

"Okay, yup, we've got some results." Pixel informed the rest, cutting him off. "Robbie, you stay there, everyone else come take a look."

"I- did I really just say that out loud?" Robbie muttered to himself, shaking his head in disbelief, "To a bunch of irritating brats, no less. The fuck is wrong with me?"

"I still can't believe you downloaded an entire medical database just for this game, Pixel," Stingy said.

"Well, it's not an _entire_ database," Pixel defended, "It's abridged, the full version would take up a lot more hard-drive space than I had spare! Plus it was waay more expensive."

"You paid money for this? It's just a game!" Stephanie asked.

"Yeah..! Not that much, though!" Pixel replied.

"You and your computer stuff... I'll never get it." she said. "Hey, can someone read it out for me? It's a lot of words, I don't think I'll be able to read it in four minutes. More like four hours."

"Two minutes, now," Robbie called.

"Sure!" Pixel smiled, and did so quickly.

"Hm. That's all a bit depressing, isn't it? And we don't have, like, play medicine, so can I change it a bit?" Stephanie asked.

"Yeah, okay," Pixel agreed, "what were you thinking?"

"Can we still prescribe him going away?" Trixie added.

"Right, I think I know what I'll do!" Stephanie lowered her voice to a whisper so Robbie would be unable to hear her, "We should prescribe him no more villainous schemes! Not going away, cause that's mean, but maybe we can help stop him do that!"

"That'd never work." Stingy commented, without whispering.

"Shh! Shh, shh!" Stephanie waved her hands wildly, wide-eyed.

"Okay, if you honestly think it'd help... I suppose it can't do any harm," Stingy decided.

"I heard all of that, you realise," Robbie let them know, "I'm afraid group whispering doesn't work as well as you see in the movies."

"Oh." Stephanie looked a little disappointed. "Well, okay, so we've diagnosed you with, um, Bad Sad, which is when you get sad, because you do bad things sometimes, and-"

Robbie interrupted her, "That is completely not what happened," he said, but was ignored.

"And so we're going to prescribe you no more villainous schemes! And lots of hugs!" Stephanie proclaimed.

"No." Robbie replied, "And you know how much I hate hugs."

"Too bad!" she giggled, "We're your doctors, you have to!"

"You aren't real doctors, I don't _have_ to do anything you say." responded Robbie.

"We have doctors licences!" Trixie exclaimed, and stuck her hand in her pocket, rooting around presumably to find hers. "Right, uh, here!" She pulled it out, and held it up.

"That's a piece of paper that you've written 'TOTALLY OFFICIAL DOCTOR' on." Robbie told her. "Even what you've written sounds sarcastic."

"Please? No more villain schemes? Just for today?" Stephanie pleaded.

"Wasn't planning to today." answered Robbie.

"And I'm still going to hug you! Whether you like it or not!" she added.

"Ugh." Robbie shook his head despairingly. "Right. I'm out." he said, and got up from the chair.

"Oh, goodie!" Trixie laughed, "Guys, he's going! Finally."

"Uh, yeah," said Stephanie, "so, you guys wanna say bye, or?"

"No need to-"

"Bye, Robbie! Thank you for playing, I'm glad I actually got a proper use out of my database!" Pixel smiled, and waved.

"Bye, loser!" Trixie added, sticking her tongue out and crossing her eyes.

"Well, I suppose I'll have to jump on the bandwagon now, huh." Stingy said. "So goodbye, Mr. Rotten. And don't think I've forgotten about that mess in your lair you didn't let me finish tidying. Expect a visit."

"Byee, Robbie!" Stephanie exclaimed, and waved too.

"I am seriously not comfortable with this amount of simultaneous attention. Especially from you- you annoying little brats." Robbie told them with a grimace. "Goodbye." He stalked off, probably towards the local corner-store, since he'd said he was only out to buy coffee anyways.

"So, who's still up for pranking the Mayor?"

**Author's Note:**

> i'm actually really proud of this one =P i think it's my best so far writing-wise, although the semblance of plot is pretty boring.
> 
> Thanks for reading! ^u^


End file.
